The Myth of ‘Having It All’ in Your 20s

The Pressure to Have It All

Scrolling through social media can feel like everyone in their 20s has it all figured out—except you. Pictures of friends landing dream jobs, traveling to exotic locations, or celebrating relationships flood your feed, leaving you wondering if you’re falling behind. The world seems to tell you that your 20s are the prime time to have everything: a thriving career, perfect relationships, a booming social life, and a lifestyle that’s both Instagram-worthy and financially stable.

This societal expectation creates an illusion of a linear path to success, where you’re supposed to check off milestones like a to-do list. Graduate, get a stable job, find a partner, settle down—all while maintaining a perfectly balanced and exciting life. But life isn’t that simple, and chasing this ideal often leads to stress and dissatisfaction. It’s time to debunk the myth of “having it all” and embrace the unique, nonlinear journeys that truly define us.

The Origins of the Myth

The idea of “having it all” isn’t new—it stems from cultural ideals, media portrayals, and societal norms that have evolved over time. Historically, young adults were expected to meet traditional milestones like marriage, starting a family, and securing a stable job by a certain age. While the world has modernized, these expectations linger, albeit in updated forms.

Social media has amplified these pressures. Platforms like Instagram and LinkedIn present a curated version of life, where everyone seems to be excelling effortlessly. You see someone celebrating a promotion, another showing off a new car, and yet another posting about their engagement. These highlight reels create false benchmarks, making it feel like success is a race and you’re lagging behind.

In India, the pressure intensifies with family and societal expectations. By your mid-20s, you’re often expected to have a stable career, contribute to family responsibilities, and even start thinking about marriage. Parents may compare your achievements to those of relatives or neighbors, adding to the stress. The myth of “having it all” is not just a global phenomenon—it’s deeply ingrained in Indian culture too.

The Reality Check: Why ‘Having It All’ Is Unrealistic

The idea of “having it all” oversimplifies the complexities of life. It assumes that success, relationships, and personal happiness can all be achieved simultaneously and without compromise. In reality, life is full of trade-offs and shifting priorities.

For example, pursuing a demanding career might mean sacrificing personal time or delaying relationship goals. On the other hand, focusing on relationships or personal growth might slow career advancement. The idea that you can excel in every area of life at once ignores these natural complexities.

Moreover, happiness and success look different for everyone. For some, it might mean earning a six-figure salary; for others, it could be living a simple life filled with meaningful connections. By trying to conform to a one-size-fits-all ideal, we often lose sight of what truly matters to us as individuals.

The Emotional Toll of Unrealistic Expectations

Chasing the ideal of “having it all” can take a serious toll on mental health. Constantly striving for perfection leads to anxiety, burnout, and a nagging sense of inadequacy. Social media’s comparison culture exacerbates this, making it hard to appreciate your own progress when everyone else seems to be living a dream.

When you see friends getting promoted, traveling, or settling down, it’s easy to feel like you’re falling short. This self-doubt can spiral into dissatisfaction, even if you’re doing well by your own standards. The pressure to keep up often results in neglecting self-care and mental health, as you push yourself to meet unrealistic benchmarks.

Breaking free from these expectations, however, can be liberating. Recognizing that success isn’t about ticking off boxes but about personal growth and fulfillment can improve mental well-being. By shifting focus to your unique journey and embracing imperfections, you can start to find peace and happiness that’s authentic to you.

Embracing Your Unique Journey

In a world obsessed with benchmarks and timelines, the most empowering thing you can do is define your own path. Society might have a checklist for what your 20s should look like—land a dream job, find the perfect relationship, and showcase it all on social media—but true fulfillment comes from embracing your individuality and setting your own goals.

Define Your Own Goals

The first step to breaking free from societal pressures is self-reflection. Ask yourself: What do I really want? This isn’t about what your peers are doing or what your family expects. Take time to identify your priorities, whether it’s career growth, personal development, or simply exploring different interests.

Write down your goals and values, and align your actions with them. Remember, it’s okay if your path doesn’t look like everyone else’s. Maybe your goal isn’t to climb the corporate ladder but to pursue a creative passion or build a lifestyle that allows for more flexibility. Success, after all, is deeply personal.

Practice Gratitude

It’s easy to focus on what you haven’t achieved yet, but practicing gratitude helps shift the perspective to what you have accomplished. Celebrate small wins, like learning a new skill, forming meaningful relationships, or simply getting through a tough week.

Start a gratitude journal and note three things you’re thankful for each day. Progress, no matter how small, is still progress. Gratitude not only improves mental well-being but also keeps you grounded and content with your journey, even when it feels like you’re moving at a different pace than others.

Celebrate Individuality

Comparing your journey to someone else’s is a sure way to feel inadequate. Instead, focus on what makes you unique. Your strengths, experiences, and perspective are your own, and they contribute to your distinct path.

Think of an artist who embraces their unconventional style instead of conforming to trends. Their authenticity often resonates deeply with others. Similarly, embracing your individuality allows you to connect with people and opportunities that align with your true self. Celebrate what makes you different—it’s your greatest asset.

Stories of Growth: Lessons from Imperfect Journeys

Success doesn’t always follow a straight line, and many inspiring stories come from people who found their calling in unexpected ways.

Consider Ritesh Agarwal, the founder of OYO Rooms. Dropping out of college to pursue entrepreneurship wasn’t the traditional path, but his persistence and vision turned a simple idea into a global hospitality brand. His journey shows that success doesn’t require following a predefined timeline.

Another example is actor Pankaj Tripathi, who struggled for years before gaining recognition in Bollywood. His patience and belief in his craft remind us that it’s never too late to achieve your dreams.

Closer to everyday life, think about the young professional who shifts careers after realizing their passion lies elsewhere. These stories highlight lessons in persistence, self-belief, and the courage to redefine success on your terms.

Redefining ‘Success’ in Your 20s

The concept of success is often boxed into traditional markers like financial milestones or societal approval, but it’s so much more than that. For some, success might mean achieving financial independence; for others, it could be building meaningful relationships or mastering a skill they’re passionate about.

Your 20s aren’t about “having it all”—they’re about figuring out what “it all” means to you. This decade is a time for experimentation, learning, and laying the foundation for the life you want to create. It’s okay to try, fail, and change direction. Success is not a destination but a journey of growth and exploration.

Letting Go of the Myth

Letting go of the myth of “having it all” frees you to focus on what truly matters—your unique journey. The pressure to meet societal expectations is unnecessary baggage. Instead, embrace your 20s as a time to discover who you are, make mistakes, and learn along the way.

Your progress, no matter how unconventional, is worth celebrating. Life isn’t a race, and everyone’s timeline is different. So take pride in your journey, focus on growth, and remember: the best way to succeed is to stay true to yourself.